Waves - Lives

I was watching this morning the waves breaking at the beach.

Big waves came all powerful, then broke with a lot of sound and foam and then becoming tamed and dying at the shore.

And I thought it is quite similar to our human life.....

Regrets before we dye

Bronnie Ware, an australian nurse who worked for years with people sent home to dye realized that people with little time to live had mainly 5 regrets about their lives. She has written about it in a blog and lately a book.
The following text is taken from her blog:

REGRETS OF THE DYING

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard. This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

violence

It has taken me a long time, but now I saw clearly that whenever I make an act of violence (either a violent thought or to speak with violence, or a violent act), I do not feel well afterwards.......

(picture above: "lightning over Quebec" from http://theweatherclub.org.uk)
(picture below: Lightening activity over the Earth today at 14:40 UT.
Lightning stroke positions are shown as coloured dots which "cool down" from blue for the most recent (occurring within the last 10 min) through green and yellow to red for the oldest (30-40 minutes earlier).
Red asterisks in white circles are active WWLL lightning sensor locations. The terminator (day-night boundary) is shown, with the daylit section of the globe in grey. Click on picture to amplify.
from http://webflash.ess.washington.edu/)

Prejudice

Prejudice comes from a basic need, new research suggests:

Where does prejudice come from? Not from ideology, say the authors of a new paper. Instead, prejudice stems from a deeper psychological need, associated with a particular way of thinking. People who aren't comfortable with ambiguity and want to make quick and firm decisions are also prone to making generalizations about others.

In a new article published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, Arne Roets and Alain Van Hiel of Ghent University in Belgium look at what psychological scientists have learned about prejudice since the 1954 publication of an influential book, The Nature of Prejudice by Gordon Allport.

People who are prejudiced feel a much stronger need to make quick and firm judgments and decisions in order to reduce ambiguity. "Of course, everyone has to make decisions, but some people really hate uncertainty and therefore quickly rely on the most obvious information, often the first information they come across, to reduce it" Roets says. That's also why they favor authorities and social norms which make it easier to make decisions. Then, once they've made up their mind, they stick to it. "If you provide information that contradicts their decision, they just ignore it."

Roets argues that this way of thinking is linked to people's need to categorize the world, often unconsciously. "When we meet someone, we immediately see that person as being male or female, young or old, black or white, without really being aware of this categorization," he says. "Social categories are useful to reduce complexity, but the problem is that we also assign some properties to these categories. This can lead to prejudice and stereotyping."

People who need to make quick judgments will judge a new person based on what they already believe about their category. "The easiest and fastest way to judge is to say, for example, ok, this person is a black man. If you just use your ideas about what black men are generally like, that's an easy way to have an opinion of that person," Roets says. "You say, 'he's part of this group, so he's probably like this.'"

It's virtually impossible to change the basic way that people think. Now for the good news: It's possible to actually also use this way of thinking to reduce people's prejudice. If people who need quick answers meet people from other groups and like them personally, they are likely to use this positive experience to form their views of the whole group. "This is very much about salient positive information taking away the aversion, anxiety, and fear of the unknown," Roets says.

Roets's conclusions suggest that the fundamental source of prejudice is not ideology, but rather a basic human need and way of thinking. "It really makes us think differently about how people become prejudiced or why people are prejudiced," Roets says. "To reduce prejudice, we first have to acknowledge that it often satisfies some basic need to have quick answers and stable knowledge people rely on to make sense of the world."

Text taken fully from ScienceDaily, Dec. 21, 2011.

Original Journal Reference:Arne Roets and Alain Van Hiel. Allport’s Prejudiced Personality Today: Need for Closure as the Motivated Cognitive Basis of Prejudice. Current Directions in Psychological Science, (in press)

The obsolete consciousness IX

View this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtnFpXKgeDY&feature=related

and ask yourself if our consciousness, as it presently is, is not obsolete.
It has brought us till here with the miriad reflexes, one of them, maybe the primordial one, the search for security, even if by brutal means.
But it is coming to a crisis.
Evolution will no longer be darwinian, but will be in consciousness

meditation. A Christmas gift......

"In addition to the talks, what perhaps had an even greater impact on me was the opportunity each day to spend time with him alone. This was possible because so few people were really interested. I got to take walks with him. At the time, there were a lot of woods around the campus. I was very drawn to this word “meditation,” though I didn’t really know what it meant. I asked Krishnamurti many times to teach me meditation, but he simply smiled and remained silent.

The first time we took a walk, he said, “Would you mind if we just walked in silence, if we don’t speak?” I thought that was a strange request. I was certainly accustomed to taking walks with others, but it always included talking as well.

K and I would walk for half an hour, 45 minutes, an hour – around the campus, in the woods. After the initial awkwardness, I started to actually like it. He was comfortable walking in silence, so I became comfortable as well. It was new to me.

I had walked silently by myself and with close friends before, for example, along the Atlantic ocean and lake Michigan. However, I barely knew this man.

Q: What was that experience like? Were you walking along paths? Was he looking up at leaves, walking up to trees? Was he looking up at the sky? Did he stop?

A: He’d pause sometimes. Sometimes the birds would chirp and he’d stop and say, “Let’s listen for a few minutes.” So we did. Or he would stop and smile. But he didn’t make it a project, like, “Let’s stop now, I’m about to teach you meditation the natural way” – he didn’t do that. Mostly we just walked and enjoyed moving in silence. Sometimes it was in thickly wooded areas, sometimes it was a path. He seemed very happy. He saw that I enjoyed it and kept returning, so we took such walks every day.

About a day or two before it was time for him to leave Brandeis, on one of the walks, he stopped and said, “Pick out anything. A plant, a leaf, a flower, part of a tree. See if you can look at it for a few minutes without labeling it, naming it or thinking about it. Simply, with innocence, as if for the first time, just take a look at it. Let’s do that for a while.” He didn’t say how long.

I’m not sure what I picked. I think it was a leaf or a few leaves. At first, my mind got very busy and didn’t like doing this, didn’t want to simply sustain attention. There was clearly resistance to just looking. I would sneak a peek at Krishnamurti, looking for some sign that we had done this long enough and could start walking again. After a while, though, my mind settled down a bit. I was just watching when, suddenly, the leaf became interesting. I was incredibly moved emotionally, which was totally unanticipated. I started to really see, in a new and vivid way, ordinary aspects of the leaf. Its shape, color, veins, and stem really held my interest. It was all so alive. Green was now really green! There was a whole little world going.

Then he said, “Well, how was it?” So I said, “It was fascinating. It was just beautiful.” And I went on and on about it. I told him how moved I was and how much I saw and how much I learned, that I never was so interested in detail – I had just kind of glossed over nature. Here I got in really close and it was fascinating and moving and it held my interest.

He said, “OK. Now, when you want to meditate, just sit down and do the same thing with your mind.” And that was it. [laughs] Period. And we resumed the walk."

(From: Meeting Krishnamurti. Interview with Larry Rosenberg. By M. Drexler)

conditioning

My now friend M.F. showed us his beautiful and inspiring film "Tropico da Saudade: Levi-Strauss Journey to Amazonia", where he shows the visits of anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss to the Nambikwara indians in the Amazon. M.F. has also lived for years with this amazonian tribe and he can tell many stories of their wisdom and amazing life close to Nature.

He ends his film with a quote from Levi-Strauss' book "Tristes Tropiques":

"Other cultures are perhaps no better than our own; even if we are inclined to believe they are, we have no method at our disposal for proving it. However, by getting to know them better, we are enabled to detach ourselves from our own culture. Not that our own culture is peculiarly or absolutely bad. But it is the only one from which we must free ourselves. We can only be free through others."

Such a powerful sentence. And after reading it on the screen, I thought one could exchange the word "culture" for the word "conditioning", and then the sentence would be something like:

"Other conditionings are perhaps no better (or worse) than our own; even if we are inclined to believe they are, we have no method at our disposal for proving it. However, by getting to know them better, we can detach ourselves from our own conditioning. Not that our own conditioning is peculiarly or absolutely bad. But it is the only one from which we must free ourselves. We can only be free through others."

(pictures from http://www.indiegogo.com/Return-of-the-Captured-Spirits)

The accidental and the fundamental IV: thinking

I was driving on the highway, and I realized that most of my thoughts deal with accidental (irrelevant to the fundamental) things........

Farewell Steve Jobs

Things that he said in this meeting are quite thought provoking, even very spiritual. I do not mind that much all his creating a big business, creating incredibly beautiful electronic devices ( I do not have any). But I listened to this very direct and personal talk, and if it reflects something of his inner world, it is quite deep, even religious.
Rest in peace, fellow human being....

(people willing to listen the full address, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc)

The accidental and the fundamental III, Impermanence III

I was trying to have a feeling for what is accidental and what is fundamental. And in that frame of mind I also thought about impermanence....

And somehow I blended it together in my brain....and it came to my mind that...what is accidental is what is impermanent....

And then the question: is there something which is not impermanent? which means, what is fundamental?

Is what is impermanent (accidental) an external manifestation? a manifestation of something which is not manifested, which is not impermanent, which is fundamental?

....And maybe they are just aspects of the same thing......

The accidental and the fundamental II

The other day I was so angry...I even realized I was angry, but could not stop being angry.

I went for a walk, but my mind was razed by repeating recreations of the situation that made me angry.

As I was not enjoying the walk I came back home. I was alone. I looked out through the kitchen window and I saw the silhouette of the old church, still and silent.

And something came to my mind: "the anger razing through my mind, the reasons for it, and the (my) personality that was reacting like that were all accidental" .....not fundamental

(photograph: it is the actual view of the church described above)

Education XXII: How to educate to be compassionate?

I was looking at my twins (now 18 months old) and wondering what would be the "thing" that I would like that they have when they are older.

And it came to my mind that above other things I would like that they have a "compassionate mind".

This is a term that I have heard mainly coming from buddhist people. But, I do not want that they are conditioned by a whole array of chants, concepts, writings, methods, etc, as it seems to me that all those things have been added over time, as layers, to something quite simple (by the way, is there such a thing as "simple, pure, buddhism?).

So the question is: how to educate compassion?. Is it something that one can give to, produce, provoque? or is it something that is already there and has to be un-covered?

This, to me, is such an important question in education. All the rest is very secondary.

Perspective

This image of Earth (on the left) and the moon (on the right) was taken by NASA's Juno spacecraft onboard camera on Aug. 26, 2011, when the spacecraft was about 6 million miles (9.66 million kilometers) away, on its way to Jupiter.

This is how "important" we look from a distance.....

(http://missionjuno.swri.edu/)

The accidental and the fundamental

This summer we were reading Krishnamurti´s book "Education and the significance of life". In chapter 1 there was a paragraph that we did not pay much attention to, but has been resonating in my head since:

"We must distinguish between the personal and the individual. The personal is the accidental; and by the accidental I mean the circumstances of birth, the environment in which we happen to have been brought up, with its nationalism, superstitions, class distinctions and prejudices. The personal or accidental is but momentary, though that moment may last a lifetime; and as the present system of education is based on the personal, the accidental, the momentary, it leads to perversion of thought and the inculcation of self-defensive fears. "

This reference to the personal (accidental) and the individual was only mentioned in this paragraph, and not later in the text.

This prompted me to look at myself an others, and I think there are things in our lives which are accidental and there is something else which is fundamental.

The accidental being where we have been born, in what town or country or what family, how we have been conditioned, what desires we have, what people have we met, what we have studied or learned, and a long etcetera. Maybe we can even include what we think and feel.

And that we tend to have a life centered in this accidental realm. this is the realm in which we normally move....

And what is, then, the fundamental?

To discover

"You can only discover something which already exists"
(Socrates)

Education XXI, Socrates

HIPPOCRATES: You are right, my dear Socrates, as always. But won't you put aside your method this time and tell me the answer immediately?

SOCRATES: No, my friend, even if I could, I would not do this, and it is for your sake. The knowledge somebody gets without work is almost worthless to him. We understand thoroughly only that which - perhaps with some outside help - we find out ourselves, just as a plant can use only the water which it sucks up from the soil through its own roots.

(from "A socratic dialogue in mathematics" by Alfred Renyi)

Education XX: rewards

Yesterday it was a very hot day. We were going by car to swim in a lake in the mountains. The twins (almost 16 month old now) were in their seats on the back. And suddenly one of them started blowing air into a harmonica.

It was just blowing in and out, but I like the sound and the fact that he was producing it. And both his mother and I started saying "very good", "great" with a very friendly tone of voice. And he stopped "playing" and laughed.

It was clear that he like we praising him, it was a reward. And then I thought that I would like that he likes to play music by itself, not by the reward that it might bring him. And how often we have been educated like this, through reward and punishment. And then we end up doing something not by the thing itself, but because we like the reward.....and that might create a lot of confusion and suffering.

What are the origins of the "ego"?

Last night, I was going to bed, and as I was heading towards the bathroom, a strange idea came to my mind: The "ego" is not a thing, a "center", it is a function, the action of surviving, of having security, of achieving, of going "forward". It is the same difference as "a walk" (a thing) and "walking" (a function).

It is not a thing from where an action stems. It is rather the drive that makes thoughts happen, the drive that makes things happen.

And then a question came to my mind quite diffusely, rather difficult to put into words: what is the origin of this drive? And I thought the same drive that makes a thought happen is the same drive that makes the whole universe go forward, exist, expand, be.

So, this universal drive to exist, takes a certain shape in human beings, and we call it "ego". The shape is determined by a particular evolutionary path. That universal drive takes a different shape in other living things, in molecules, in galaxies...

And when I saw this, I understood it might be wrong to "demonize" the "ego", to suppress it, to think it is the source of many evil things, as some religions do. Maybe we can just observe its origins which determine its essence, the evolution which gives it a shape, and its universality......

Today I realized it is just one more example of the "holographic" nature of the universe, that David Bohm was talking about: if the universe has this drive to exist, we have to partake of this drive also.....

(photograps taken by Hubble telescope: top, the Carina Nebula, bottom, Gas Pillars in a Star-Forming Region of the Eagle Nebula. http://hubblesite.org.

Note about the bottom picture (from Wikipedia): This photograph is known as the "Pillars of Creation", a part of the Eagle Nebula, about 6,500 light-years distant. These columns––which resemble stalagmites protruding from the floor of a cavern––are composed of interstellar hydrogen gas and dust, which act as incubators for new stars.

The longest of the 'Pillars' is seven light years long, and because of their massive density interior gasses contract gravitationally to form stars. Due to the huge distance between us, the Pillars of Creation may already be gone, and instead a stellar star nursery could have taken its place. In early 2007, scientists using the Spitzer discovered evidence that potentially indicates that the Pillars were destroyed by a nearby supernova explosion about 6,000 years ago, but the light showing the new shape of the nebula will not reach Earth for another millennium.)

(to read more about holography, see http://dialogueglobal.blogspot.com/2009/04/fractals-and-holograms.html)

We see everything with the mind

Today I had a strange feeling: that we see everything with the mind. And we feel, and act, and live through the mind.
And inevitably that seeing is tainted by the mind, the conditioning, the long evolution.....

Is there a seeing not with the mind?

(photograph by Jude McConkey)

how many times have we died?

This morning while I was waking up, I was thinking of past events, things that I have said and done, some long time ago, and realize that the man that said or did that had already died. Only the name or the passport number is the same and that gives the appearance of a continuity. Since 1992 I have died 3 times......