A chair........

Something that happenend in last night´s shift around 2:00 AM:

- A (patient, a young man of around 28): I have come because for 3 weeks I feel very depressed, all my symptoms have worsened, the anxiety, I spend the whole day performing "rituals", there are different ones, maybe I open and close a drawer fifty times. I have different obsessions. I am very religious and I do not mind to talk to god aloud on the streets, even if people look at me in a funny way, sometimes I just kneel down on the street and pray. But all this is wearing me down, I feel exhausted, deppressed, I do not want to live anymore. It all started 9 years ago, when my grandfather died, I was very close to him, I did a lot of sports, I was good at them and I was training to be a carpenter, but now I have 6 different medications for these problems, I do not work. Today all came to a point in which I cannot bear it anymore......

- B (practitioner): you have to understand one thing, please. I am working here not to tell you nice things or be complacent with you, but to tell you things that I think are true and maybe you might find difficult or strange....

-A: right....

-B: Look at this chair. If a chair would be conscious of being a chair....would it still be a chair?

-A: I do not think I understand....

-B: Yes, If a chair would become aware that it is a chair, if it would become aware of its existence as a chair, aware that it has 4 legs, that is an object for people to sit on her, aware that she was made and that she is decaying....completely aware of its "chairness".....would it still be a chair?....

-A: I do not know if I understand you, but a chair is normally not aware of being a chair. If it would be aware, then, it would not be anymore a chair as we know it .....

-B: That´s what I mean....it would continue having the shape of a chair....it would look still like a chair....people could still use it to sit, etc....but it would not be a chair anymore.....because chairs are not aware of being chairs...

A: ok....., but.......

-B: In the same way, if YOU would be completely aware of your condition, you would not be the "you" that is now. If you would be completely aware of all your rituals, your obssessions, your fears, the unstable balance you have came to have with all that, and even the nature of your nature.....then you would not be that....
I am not asking you that you change anything, continue with your rituals as they are now....but just be intensely aware as everything happens.....

-A: I am not sure I follow you....but would that help me?

-B: Don't do it for a goal, do it out of desperation, do it because it might be the only way, and a change might or might not happen, it will have a dynamic of its own.....go home now and work on this.....